Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m not sure if that’s true or if it’s even relevant to our existence. What I do know about is pain and how it teaches you, molds you, owns you and changes you. What you do with that pain is your choice. Looking back on my life, I would say that I am one blessed girl. I have been loved immensely by some amazing people. I’ve also had my share of pain. Last year was the most difficult year for me. I really didn’t think I’d survive. I have always pushed through the pain, knowing that there is always love, joy and happiness waiting for me. I wanted to die. I think a part of me did die that night. What is the reason for that? Will this hole in my heart ever heal? Will I ever close my eyes and dream without fear? It’s hard to breathe at times because my heart just hurts. I’ve been picking up the pieces of my scattered heart for a while now.

JMS