For those of us who do not have automatic ice makers, the relentlessly empty ice tray resides somewhere in that universe of missing socks, toothpaste squeezed in the middle, and dust bunnies hiding in places you swear you’ve swept over three times already. I’ve found I can rock the mismatched socks, I can re-roll the Colgate every morning, and I can live with a little dust; but the ice….I need it.

It’s a pretty simple fix, in fact. I’ve spent the last decade accumulating more stuff than I know what to do with; my furniture choices improved, my closet space grew, my square footage expanded, and I accrued kitchen gadgets something fierce. A few months ago I stood in the middle of my nice house, in the middle of my nice neighborhood, amidst nice neighbors, nice real-wood accent tables, and six empty ice-cube trays, and felt overwhelmed. Where had all this “stuff” come from? Why do I still have that little statue thing, or that rock that looks a little bit like Captain Crunch? I actually remember exactly why, when, and with whom I got them, but the stories are no longer told and memories are irrelevant now so why are they still taking up shelf space? The same with that photo frame, and that candle set, this t-shirt, that necklace, oh, and that shot glass…heck, almost everything around me was attached to someone, some memory, or some time when I felt the need to collect some object just in case…because…I don’t even know anymore. These things are connections to a past I put behind me some time ago and have since moved forward…or so I thought. Somewhere along the line I lost the ability to tell the difference between a sentimental object and a lingering, tangible piece of the past.

So I challenged myself; I started the process of cleaning. I sold some stuff, donated others, and filled an entire dumpster with the rest. I packed the necessities, bought new items to replace the old, and lovingly wrapped the things that still make me smile. I even cleared my phone of numbers, texts, and emails I have no reason to keep. As the place became more and more empty, I was surprised at how easy it was to let go of things I’ve held on to for so long. My belongings disappeared one by one; things I carried with me year after year, from home to home, some stored in boxes, some placed in the same spot on the same shelf, making the same little circle of dust every time I picked it up to clean. It had all become so tired, so redundantly part of the decor. I stood in my house looking at the difference, the memorabilia was gone, the walls were vast spaces speckled with nails and scuffs that I needed to replace with new pictures, new memories, and what shelves I kept had thin layers of dust patterned with memories of what they used to hold. I let out a huge breath I swear must have been inside me for years, and started laughing. I kept laughing. I couldn’t stop. As I wiped away the tears that streamed down my cheeks, the fly on the wall whispered something about “neurotic”.

Organizing in a significantly smaller place has been a healthy challenge. I’ve simplified. I have six bath towels instead of a tower of them. My Tupperware collection is minimal. The only knick-knacks around are ones that bring positive energy into the room. I have one ice cube tray that always has ice.

Ok, so this could be about being single, but I think it’s more about starting over, starting fresh; a clean slate, per se. Two years ago I felt a weight that was getting the best of me, so I hopped in my car, spent some time doing some much needed “me” things, and made a few long-term goals for myself. I knew they wouldn’t be easy, and I haven’t made all the right steps since, but I’m closer to those goals than I thought I would be by now. Over the past few years I’ve let go of a few people and pulled others even closer. I take time out to do the things I want to do with the people I want to do them with. I’ve had many of those amazing kind of days you miss before they’re even over. I cleared out a lifetime of clutter. I am healthier and happier than ever. I am so ready for what lies ahead. I truly believe I have some amazing things in store for the time to come, so long as I keep my priorities straight, leave the past where it lies, and keep moving forward.

But, if nothing else, trust me on the ice tray thing – it’s incredibly empowering.

JMS