The beginning of any new relationship or just talking to someone new can be so exciting.
Hearing the way someone laughs, seeing them light up like a thousand stars when they are happy, getting to know their taste in music, what their passionate about, their dreams, what makes them sad, and learning about their desires.
It can be intoxicating.
It can also be extremely terrifying.
You’re disclosing parts of yourself to that person and opening yourself up to ridicule or judgment.
You’re vulnerable.
You want to impress them but you also don’t want to get so lost that you forget to be yourself.
Staying balanced can be difficult sometimes.
Your past is over. You have moved on.
You are free.
You are happier than you have ever been in your entire life.
….but there are moments that haunts you like a ghost in the night.
You tell those demons to shut up.
You’re confident now. You’re capable.
You know your worth.
You are sharing and you’re opening yourself up to this person that you just met in hopes that they don’t destroy you.
You’re enjoying the newness of everything.
During a conversation you’re told the sweetest words, “I want to know the real you.”
Your heart smiles.
It’s everything you’ve wanted to hear for so long.
You’ve been looking for that one person that will know you completely and love you anyway.
Your fears creep up and make you second guess yourself. You fight them because she’s worth the risk of it all.
Would you really crumble into tiny pieces if this person didn’t like you?
Probably not.
You may feel like it but you’re not going to actually die.
Receiving and giving love is the most magical thing we can do in this lifetime.
Loving someone shouldn’t be conditioned.
You don’t have to buy me an expensive diamond ring if your desire is to share your life with me forever.
You don’t have to take me out to fancy dinners every weekend.
You don’t even have to pay my bills, I can do that.
You don’t have to love the same music I do.
You don’t have to enjoy the same hobbies as me.
You don’t have to send me flowers every month.
You do have to show me respect.
You do have to communicate with me.
You do have to respect my boundaries.
You do have to invest time in me and be present.
You do have to accept me without having a desire to change me.
You do have to show me that you love me if you say that you do.

I’m not difficult to please. Just love me. Be silly with me. Accept the fact that sometimes I’m just going to want to chill with a good book or you and Netflix.
Don’t judge me on my faults.
Hey, I’m not perfect…but you can’t change me.
I am who I am.
It took me a long time to get here.
I won’t apologize for my past. It’s over. I’ve let it go. You should, too. It taught me a lot and made me who I am today.
I won’t apologize for being hot natured, I like it cool, but I’m willing to compromise, if you are, too.
I won’t apologize for being a neat freak, but I don’t expect you to be one.
I won’t apologize for how I may overshare on Facebook, because those people are my family. Sometimes I need to share. It’s what I do, but I won’t share anything personal about us.
I won’t apologize for needing me time occasionally, but I will always make sure that I don’t cut you out or abandon you.
I won’t apologize for how much toilet paper I use.
I won’t apologize for needing to make the bed in the mornings before I leave, but I also won’t wake you up to do it.
I won’t apologize for having my own beliefs, likes, taste in music, loving T. Swift, and hobbies.
I won’t apologize for taking a lot of pictures of us. I want to record as much of our magic as I possibly can.
I won’t apologize for the person I used to be. She’s no longer around. You never knew her but I will tell you about her.
I won’t apologize for my fears or my scars or the demons that wake me up in the middle of the night and I refuse to let them win.
I won’t apologize for being afraid.
I will disappoint you.
I will do my best to never break your heart.
..but I’m not perfect.
I’m just who I am.
I’m learning and growing and becoming better every single day.
You have the chance to help me grow, too and I am willing to learn through you.
But I won’t change my core to satisfy you.
I am who I am with no apologies.
Love me, accept me or leave me.
The choice is yours.

#MOOREselfLOVElessSELFhate

JMS