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Did I make it up?

I’m fighting
a quiet war

between the thoughts
in my head

and what is
actually in front of me

and somewhere
in between

I get lost

because everything
feels blurred

like I’m trying
to hold onto something

that keeps changing shape

and I don’t know

what is real anymore

what was said
what was meant
what I felt
what was true

it all tangles together

until I can’t tell

if I’m remembering clearly

or just
holding onto
what I hoped it was

JMS


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