Day 6

I woke up thinking about you.

Again.

I prayed for it to stop—
sat in church
asking for peace,
for quiet,
for just one moment
where you didn’t live in my head.

But you were still there.

And going through everything I’ve written—
all the memories—
it pulled me right back.

To you.

To what I felt with you.

And here’s the truth I don’t like to admit—

I’m not going back.

But I still wish
you would come forward.

I still wish
you would choose me.

And I know you can’t.

I know that.

And I am accepting it—
even if it doesn’t feel like acceptance yet.

Because choosing myself
sometimes looks like walking away…

while still wishing
it didn’t have to be this way.

JMS