Where Love Heals

Some of my originals…

I know that no one will ever love me as much as you did.
So I will just have to do it myself.
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The thousand pieces of your broken heart fit perfectly with the thousand pieces of mine.

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I always knew that I found one half of my heart when we met. But what I did not know was
that I would have to find my own part when you left. I was mistaken thinking that it was ever
supposed to be whole.
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Am I supposed to believe that you did not want me….

….when your new one is a fucking carbon copy of me?

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Don’t give yourself too much credit. You’re not that special.

….just another person that broke my heart and walked away.

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I keep finding you everywhere—
waiting behind corners,
lingering between my sheets,
even in the sharp, constant glare
that never leaves my eyes.

You’re there.
Clearer than you should be.
Just as vivid as you were years ago.

All those tears—
they stripped me of hope, piece by piece,
washed it clean from my hands.
But they never took you with them.
If anything,
they only sharpened your memory,
left me with a clearer view of what remains.

And maybe that’s the cruel grace of it—
because now I stand here,
staring through this windowpane,
knowing I’ll be looking out
for a very long time.

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Always make sure that you never fly higher than you can stand to fall.

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I would’ve loved you to death so you probably did the best thing by leaving.

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She never wanted anyone to fix her. She just wanted someone to listen carefully enough to tell
her that she didn’t need to be fixed.

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This heart of mine has been bruised and broken so many times that superglue can’t fix it, but here you are, putting it back together again with love.

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There is just something about you. Something about those eyes and the way they looked at me. There is just something about the way you loved me and how I will never be loved like that again. There is just something about not wanting to be loved like that by anyone else.

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I look at you.
and for once in my life….
I’m speechless. (still a work in progress…

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And when I looked at you standing under the full moon, I noticed
how the calm brightness of the moon kissed you from head to toe,
illuminating all the perfection of your gorgeous soul to my naked eyes.
I felt so connected to you in that moment, as though, you soul was
captured in me, and my soul was captured in you. Nothing will be the
same anymore, for our souls are married to each other, under the oath
of the full moon.

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You never knew my name.

But you saw deep beneath my skin.

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I’ve given you everything. And I don’t have anything left.

But for you….

i’d do it all over again.

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You’re making me stupid and I don’t know what to do.

I’m gonna ask you to leave me but really I don’t want you to.

You’re making me stupid. I used to run from myself.

and I don’t know what you did but somehow I’m running your way.

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I died when you left my side and I died when you came back

I died when you said goodbye and I died because you never came back.

I died because of every tear you caused me.

I died when you gave up

I died almost every night

but I will never regret that.

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I know the center of my chest

holds the light of my soul

And while all these burdens

are tearing me apart

I have to recognize the fact

that the light is shining through the holes

and the cracks from the arrows

piecing through my heart.

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It felt so good to get away for a while….

With you….

….But I was playing hide and go seek with myself the whole time.

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It doesn’t matter where you are…..Cause facing the sky I can see the stars…
Whatever happens I can see the moon….
And you’re not far away cause you can see it too.

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I’ve been running as long as I can remember from everything that I am.

Broken, but never pulled back my defenses….

I have to protect everything that I have.

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I’m torn between

the person that I am

the person that I was

and the mess I have become

The home that I have found

in the only person that I love.

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…it’s not out of desperation.

It’s not because the pain is unbearable anymore.

Because it is not.

It is more of a well thought of realization that life is worth living.

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…..all of the years I would not admit that I’m sad.

Just to close my door…

and drown in the pain I had.

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The pain in my chest is growing, hurting more for every inch.

Spreading in my book throughout every cell that is within.

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I tried taking a picture of the stars last night.

I wanted to show you how beautiful it was. But the picture came out all black.

There must be a reason you can’t capture and save the most beautiful things in the world.

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JMS

…to be continued…..

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