Where Love Heals

I saw you today—after telling myself, over and over, that I was done.

That I would walk away and let you go like something I was never meant to hold.

But leaving is harder when your heart has already chosen.

You tell me this isn’t love.

And I shrink a little— feel foolish, like maybe you’re right.

Four months is not enough time to fall into something real…

Is it?

But my heart doesn’t measure time like that.

It just—wants.

We talked about weekends, small things, passing things—but I don’t want the surface of you. 

I want all of it. The parts you don’t show. 

The memories you keep hidden. The boy you used to be before the world taught you how to leave.

I wonder about you in ways that don’t feel temporary.

We’ve said it before— maybe it’s just timing. Wrong place. Wrong moment.

You can’t give me what I need. And still—you won’t let me go.

And somehow, even knowing that, I stay.

I said I wouldn’t. I said it again, and again, and again—like repetition might finally make it true.

I wrote about you— tucking pieces of us into quiet corners of my heart, like something sacred I’ll never show the world.

I told myself this wasn’t love.

Just something in between— the first time someone touches you and suddenly you understand what it means to be felt…

and something deeper you’re too afraid to name.

There’s no way I could love you. Right? Tell that to my heart.

Today— When you reached for me, I said something reckless, something honest in disguise:

“I’d set myself on fire if you asked me to.”

Not literal— but something close to the truth.

You said, “Wow.” Three letters. And I tried to move past it.

But I’m still there— standing in that moment, holding everything I meant to you in one word. 

You told me from the beginning— nothing serious. And I believed you.

But I don’t understand how two people can collide like this and mean nothing.

I don’t understand how I can be a moment that passes through you— a name you’ll never need again.

So I’ll say it— like this time, I’ll believe it. :

I’m letting you go.

I just don’t know how yet.  

JMS