Where Love Heals

I remember
how easily you lived
inside my thoughts

the sound of your voice
lingering
long after we stopped talking

the way your smile
made something in me
soften

like I could return
to a version of myself
that still believed
in magic

and I let it happen

I let myself feel it

fully
without hesitation

like love was something
I could finally hold

but somewhere
between the warmth
and the wanting

fear found me

quiet at first

then all at once

reminding me
of every time
I had lost myself
trying to keep
something I couldn’t hold

and suddenly

I wasn’t just with you

I was with my past

with the ache
with the memory
with the part of me
that didn’t know
how to stay whole
inside love

and I realized

how quickly
I had begun
to disappear

how much of me
was already reaching
for more

more of you
more closeness
more certainty

and how little
I was asking

in return

I wanted to know you

the real you
the quiet parts
the things you didn’t say

but I also see now

I wanted to be
what you needed

even if it meant
losing myself again

and I can’t go back

not because
I don’t feel it

but because
I do

I felt you

and that matters

but so do I

and I am learning

that love

is not something
I have to survive

JMS