Where Love Heals

today feels heavy

not in the same way
as before

not sharp
not confusing

just…
full

like my heart
is holding
too many truths
at once

I miss you

and I see you
clearly

maybe for the first time

I see
what you gave
and what you didn’t

what I felt
and what I filled in
on my own

and somewhere
between all of that

I found myself

again

not the version
that waited

not the one
that shrunk

but the one
who knows

what it feels like
to be held gently

to not question
to not chase
to not beg
to not wonder

and I can’t
un-know that now

so I sit here

with the ache
and the understanding

with the memory
and the truth

and I let both exist

because this is what healing
actually feels like

not letting go
all at once

but loosening
my grip

little by little

until one day

it doesn’t hurt
the same way

and I am free

JMS